Independence!

THE TRAIL TO OREGON!

Independence!

Music and lyrics by Jeff Blim

 

Sung by:
Joey Richter, Jeff Blim, 
Rachael Soglin, Jaime Lyn Beatty
Corey Dorris, Lauren Lopez.

Characters: 

Citizen, The General Store Guy, Ox,
Father, Grandpa, Mother, 
Son, Daughter, 

M&D&S&G,

Citizen & Father,

Family,

Everyone.

Album: iTunes / Amazon
   

LYRICS:

You're in Independence!

Welcome to the city so pleasing
that everyone's leaving-
Fuck it, go west.

Watch your backs, the city is bustlin'
With all kinds of hustlin'
And grit go west.

For Independence,
There are just a few things you should know-

Stay on the trail or you might get lost,
Don't pay the toll, not worth the cost,
Marry rich so ya don't die poor,
A bankers' best, but ya might die bored-

And Independent.

(...)
There's lots to learn, which kid is your favorite?
Not all of them make it
Of course, sinkholes.

A nine-month dirge, every marriage is tested
Thank God they invented
Divorce trending.

In Independence,
Here's a piece of free advice for you-

Before you go the General Store
Has all you need and plenty more!

For your I-N-D-E-pendence.

(...)

We're all friends,
There's no war a-brewing,
No one's abusing
Their rights to own an
Ox like me!

You'll need a full yolk
Their love and care is no joke
It's a job of your love-
Independent!

(...)

Here are just a few rules to live by-
For your Inde...

Don't say sorry to your Indian guide
They're not prepared for genocide
You might die of cholera and you might die of pain
But that's OK 'cuz you'll prob'ly get laid

By your mom and dad and little kids too
'Cuz you all have to share the same bedroom.
Use your kids as tourniquets
"Cuz they won't help when you're bit

By a bear!
Or a snake!
Mother Nature's really great!

When you're out there on the Oregon Trail,
Feels like you are going to fail,
But don't give up too soon,
The world is your saloon!

(...)

There's a place for us, in a house out west.
It's Oregon or bust to save the family crest.
That's the promise of the valley, leave all this behind.
Lord have mercy on my soul as I try to lead the blind!

Chin up kids, your family's united!
I guess I'm excited...
Oh, I'm so excited I pooped myself!

Let's go where
The gold rush is soaring,
Let's go exploring
Our Independence!

Be prepared to take your life
With an arrow or a hunting knife-
Stop and see Fort Laramie
There's nothin' to see, but you'll have to pee.

Do you understand 'cuz you look confused,
Take a look at scenic mountain views.
Stay away from Old Man Bridger
When he's drunk he'll take your liver,

Life is not a petting zoo
Or you'll get ripped in two-

By a
Bear!
Or a snake!
Mother Nature's really great!

Staying alive can be lots of fun,
Be sure you have a loaded gun,
Something will go wrong!
The list is far too long!

Declare your Independence,
Declare your Independence,
Declare your Independence,
Declare your

I! N! D! E! P! E! N! D! ENCE!

Diphtheria'll give ya onomatopoeia,
All the same 'cuz it gives you diarrhea!
Ruaway theives are on the lamb,
Leave them up to Uncle Sam!

Don't stress-
Take a breath-
It might just be your last!

(...)

For your I-N-D-E-PENDENCE!
Time to hit the road!