The Grind

THE TRAIL TO OREGON!

The Grind

Music and lyrics by Jeff Blim

Sung by:

 Jeff Blim, Corey Dorris, Rachael Soglin,

Lauren Lopez, Jaime Lyn Beatty

Characters: 

Father, Grandpa, Mother, 

Son, Daughter, Everyone.

Album: iTunes / Amazon

   

LYRICS:

We're travelling
Down a bumpy road 
Just relaxing
Let the miles unfold
Nothing brings a family 'gether like some dust in the eye 
And we'll be there in the nick of time 
Me and my family

(...)
We're smiling 
At a steady pace 
Your daughters crying

Missouri's such a beautiful state
And it feels like everyday's another Fourth of July
I got my freedom and my slice of pie
My beautiful family 

Now come on kids it's time that we play a game
I spot some fun out here on the Great Plains 
Stop for a second take it all in
"Are we there yet?" Is the wrong question
You thought road trips were lame 
Well they all ain't the same oh no 

It's the grind 
Take it one day at a time 
And we'll find our way back home

Free your mind 
Push your worries down the line 
And we'll ease on down the road 

Stop and look around do the chimney rock
Dad that totally looks like a giant co-
Cock-a-doo-del-do! 
I wish there was something that could capture this moment 
Something that fits right into your pocket
But we got time to kick the idea around
Oh boy!

It's the grind 
Every bump by design
To grow some hair on your chest

Fall in line
Let your debt read the signs
Whose your daddy 
Two got company 
Of the Wild Wild West 

I'm trying 
To enjoy the trip
I'm babysitting 
But not my kids
Sometimes I wonder what the hell goes on in his head
Would he notice if any one of us wound up dead 
Whom I kidding
Lord knows he'd kill himself instead
Can't say I'd tell a difference in bed
My beautiful family-

Dad I wanna keep this as a pet!
Throw it in a bag!
Do that and you will regret it!
We need a few souvenirs if we past the test
I think I'm gonna throw up
 
If you're motion sick then get off the pot
And give the soles of your feet a shot
Nothing quite kills your ills like a song and dance 

It's the grind yeah yeah 
Family dance break 

Everyone say yeah e yeah yeaaah 
Yeah e yeah yeaaah
Say yeah ye yeaaaaaah 
Yeah ye yeaaaaaah
And say hey e ah aah ahahahah 
Hey e ah aah ahahahah

Say hey ahahahahah yeah e yeah e yeah e yeaaaaaaaaah-
Dad!

(...)

It's the grind
Yeah

Independence!

THE TRAIL TO OREGON!

Independence!

Music and lyrics by Jeff Blim

 

Sung by:
Joey Richter, Jeff Blim, 
Rachael Soglin, Jaime Lyn Beatty
Corey Dorris, Lauren Lopez.

Characters: 

Citizen, The General Store Guy, Ox,
Father, Grandpa, Mother, 
Son, Daughter, 

M&D&S&G,

Citizen & Father,

Family,

Everyone.

Album: iTunes / Amazon
   

LYRICS:

You're in Independence!

Welcome to the city so pleasing
that everyone's leaving-
Fuck it, go west.

Watch your backs, the city is bustlin'
With all kinds of hustlin'
And grit go west.

For Independence,
There are just a few things you should know-

Stay on the trail or you might get lost,
Don't pay the toll, not worth the cost,
Marry rich so ya don't die poor,
A bankers' best, but ya might die bored-

And Independent.

(...)
There's lots to learn, which kid is your favorite?
Not all of them make it
Of course, sinkholes.

A nine-month dirge, every marriage is tested
Thank God they invented
Divorce trending.

In Independence,
Here's a piece of free advice for you-

Before you go the General Store
Has all you need and plenty more!

For your I-N-D-E-pendence.

(...)

We're all friends,
There's no war a-brewing,
No one's abusing
Their rights to own an
Ox like me!

You'll need a full yolk
Their love and care is no joke
It's a job of your love-
Independent!

(...)

Here are just a few rules to live by-
For your Inde...

Don't say sorry to your Indian guide
They're not prepared for genocide
You might die of cholera and you might die of pain
But that's OK 'cuz you'll prob'ly get laid

By your mom and dad and little kids too
'Cuz you all have to share the same bedroom.
Use your kids as tourniquets
"Cuz they won't help when you're bit

By a bear!
Or a snake!
Mother Nature's really great!

When you're out there on the Oregon Trail,
Feels like you are going to fail,
But don't give up too soon,
The world is your saloon!

(...)

There's a place for us, in a house out west.
It's Oregon or bust to save the family crest.
That's the promise of the valley, leave all this behind.
Lord have mercy on my soul as I try to lead the blind!

Chin up kids, your family's united!
I guess I'm excited...
Oh, I'm so excited I pooped myself!

Let's go where
The gold rush is soaring,
Let's go exploring
Our Independence!

Be prepared to take your life
With an arrow or a hunting knife-
Stop and see Fort Laramie
There's nothin' to see, but you'll have to pee.

Do you understand 'cuz you look confused,
Take a look at scenic mountain views.
Stay away from Old Man Bridger
When he's drunk he'll take your liver,

Life is not a petting zoo
Or you'll get ripped in two-

By a
Bear!
Or a snake!
Mother Nature's really great!

Staying alive can be lots of fun,
Be sure you have a loaded gun,
Something will go wrong!
The list is far too long!

Declare your Independence,
Declare your Independence,
Declare your Independence,
Declare your

I! N! D! E! P! E! N! D! ENCE!

Diphtheria'll give ya onomatopoeia,
All the same 'cuz it gives you diarrhea!
Ruaway theives are on the lamb,
Leave them up to Uncle Sam!

Don't stress-
Take a breath-
It might just be your last!

(...)

For your I-N-D-E-PENDENCE!
Time to hit the road!

Gone to Oregon

THE TRAIL TO OREGON!

Gone to Oregon

Music and lyrics by Jeff Blim

Sung by:

 Jeff Blim, Corey Dorris, Rachael Soglin,
Lauren Lopez, Jaime Lyn Beatty

Characters: 
Father, Grandpa, Mother, 
Son, Daughter, Everyone.

Album: iTunes / Amazon
   

LYRICS:

Good Mornin! - Good Mornin!

We stand before the journey

That leads us all

To Oregon - To Oregon

A pioneer adventure

Down the trail

To Oregon - To Oregon - To Wisconsin

(...)

By God's command

We dare to land

In Wisconsin

(...)

The promised land will not wait for us

We leave our land in faith and trust

We'll find the place of our destiny

And spread our family seed!

We'll find the place of our destiny

And spread our family seed!

Now the show begins

AaaaAaaaaUuuuhhhhmmmm....

(...)

Now our journey begins

In the 1800s

In a little city in Missouri

Before we start

you decide on the names

of all the people in your wagon party

You must decide who these pioneers are

Are they carpenters or bankers or leavin their farm

It's time to spin the personal yarn

Carefully choose each name

Cause this is more than a game

It's more than a game

Oh yeah it's more than a game

No 2 shows will ever be the same

My first pioneer would be President Polk

I know he'd be a good leader of the wagon

Good job now dear that's what we're goin for

You'd be extra careful not to kill him

I think I would use my mom and dad's names of course

To make sure that they'll never get divorced

That might be too much information

But hey it's great to have that personal connection

I would make my family rich

They'd be bankers from New York

Richie, Johnny, Emily and Peter and Sue

Their bank fell down and now they're poor

That's great kids

Keep up the good work

Hey Grandpa

what would your names be?

Oh well let me tell ya:

Dickson, Dickfan, Hairydick and Dr. Buttnugget

(...)

We are gone to Oregon

It's the greatest family vacation

It'll bring us together

Couldn't think of nothin better

Heck, time for some family fun

On the trail to Oregon

(...)

I'm Jack Bauer, a farmer from Illinois

All my skills will be useless on the trail

My beautiful family is counting on me

A lot of pressure, I can't afford to fail

(...)

Slipperywhenwet and I'm a mother of 2

Could've been a banker, guess a farmer will do

Why did you get to choose?

(...)

Craphole, yeah that's me

I'm 7 and I'm male

Mouthface, is what my friends call me

I'm lookin for love on the trail

Ew gross!

I hope you're bit by a snake!

I hope you break your back!

Hey I found wild fruit!

Pay attention Dad!

Are we gonna stop at the forts?

I forgot to shave

Did we bring enough food?

We could've write on Grandpa's grave

Everyone just behave!

Because it's only a game

It's only a game

I guess it's only a game

The Trail To Oregon is nothing but a game

We'll be there soon

In Oregoon

Honestly it beats nothing counted

We could be in a kitchen

doing something with a chicken

But we couldn't give less of a crap

Cause we're making it to Oregap

(...)

It's time to run

To Oregun

It's too late to change the show now

You could go next door

And see something professional

We wouldn't blame you a bit

If you're sitting through this Oreshit

We're Broadway bound

In Oregown

Cause there's no Broadway in Chicago

Who will forget their name and who will get the YouTube fame

These are the questions to ask

When you're playing Oregas

It's more than a game

Life is really great

On the trail to Oregate

Naked in a lake

THE TRAIL TO OREGON!

Naked In A Lake

Music and lyrics by Jeff Blim

Sung by:

Lauren Lopez
Jeff Blim, Jaime Lyn Beatty, Corey Dorris, Rachael Soglin, Joey Richter

(GC) Brian Holden, Dylan Saunders, Meredith Stepien

Characters: 

Son
Father, Daughter, Grandpa, Mother, Ox
Everyone

Album: iTunes / Amazon

Live: GeekyCon2015  / Elsie Fest

LYRICS:

Come on buddy, the water's just right
So come on buddy, let's have a water fight.
Splashy, splashy, there's nothing more fun
Then dropping trou' and getting some sun.

You can skinny if you're fat or old
Put Marco Polo in a wrestling hold.
All your problems wash away
When you're naked, yeah you're naked in a lake.

Come on guys, it's super warm!
Oh, I don't know about this! OK!

Everybody jump in, come and splash around, feel the water between your toes
Everybody swim, take a mini vacay wearing only your birthday clothes.
I promise I won't judge if you've got freckles or some pudge
'Cause their just one way to spend the rest of the day
Getting naked, yeah let's get naked, get naked in a lake.

Naked in a lake.
Naked in a lake.
Naked in a lake.
Get naked in a lake.
Naked in a - we're naked in a lake.

Come on, Mouthface, I know you want to.
I can finally lose this dress! Whee!
Come on grandpa, water's good for you.
I beat you to it, my diaper's wet!

It's nothing super sexual
'Cause the act is nothing actual.
It's time to free your little guy and let him play
And have the time of your life starting today.

Everybody jump in, come and splash around, feel your body jingle jangle
Everybody's got fins and it's super cool when you're taking off your sandals.
If I ever get too stressed, I find some woods and take a bath
And get naked (Aaaah!) Yeah!
Let's get naked in a lake - Yabbadabbadoo!

Let's get naked (Aaaah!) Yeah!
Let's get naked in a lake.

(amazing sax solo)

They did it in Ancient Rome
It's everybody's oldest story
You can even do it alone
Just you and all your glory!

Everybody come out, dunk your head, see how long you can hold your breath
You can even use toys, like a floating raft with a sexual orgy fest.
You can do it in the dark, but it's better when you see your parts
And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Being naked, yeah super naked, we're naked in a lake.
Naked in a lake.
We're naked in a lake.
Naked in a lake.
Naked in a lake.
Naked in a lake.
We're naked in a lake.

We are rich in Oregich.

But who cares, 

'cause we're naked, 

yeah we're naked in a lake.

Come on Jack Bauer, the water's just right.